Naked News, Wednesday February 19, 2020

Naked News, Wednesday February 19, 2020

Hello, everyone, I’m Tia Larose. Anyone who watches this show knows we like to go where the parties are… and though we won’t actually make it to Mardi Gras this year, we fully encourage you to go! So much so that we’ve put together our top Dos and Don’ts list for you. Eila’s got it right now in Naked News Travels.

Pay attention, folks! Here are my big tips for Mardi Gras, and they’re coming at you, Cajun style!

First things first: It’s New OR-LINS! Unless you’re talking about Orleans Parish, leave that Hard E at home! And though it’s fun to do, do NOT say “N’awlins”, unless you want people to think you’re a jerk or a time traveler!

Once you’re at Mardi Gras, wear a costume and be part of a parade or two! To be clear, use common sense: if there’s a really elaborate float and choreographed movement, that’s a performance and you shouldn’t get involved! You should know, though, that many of the parades are designed for crowd participation, so throw on a wig, a mask, and something colorful… then look for your moment.

Most arrests are for public urination, so funny as it seems, have a plan to pee! You can take your chances with port-a-potties, but the smart people find a friendly venue that’s looking to make a deal. Many bars will let you use their facilities for a reasonable rate… but the best options are actually churches. Just be sure to make a generous donation!

Obviously, you’re going to get away with SOME public intoxication.. however, even in a celebration of lust and sin, you don’t want to make a jerk of yourself. Moreover, the name of the game is Endurance. So pace yourself… and stay hydrated. But if you DO go overboard, you’ll be happy to know Mardi Gras has in recent years added a Sobering Center… and several IV-therapy centers to treat hangovers!

And finally, we OF COURSE support flashing for beads… just be strategic! You’ll want to stick to ‘anything goes’ Bourbon Street, because everywhere else, you’re risking arrest! And remember: beads are flying anyway, and flashing ties up your hands, so you may actually catch more just flashing your pearly whites!

Godspeed, everyone, and send us your pics. AND your beads! For Naked News, I’m Eila Adams.

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