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3 December 2019

Naked News: Monday December 2, 2019

Greetings, one and all, I’m Eila Adams. I hope it’s warm wherever you are, because it’s cold here, and I think I know whose fault it is. It’s clearly Laura’s. The weather gods are punishing her for escaping to California for a week!

What can I tell you, Eila? When L.A. calls, you’ve got to answer!

Well, we’re glad to have you back, and I’m glad you got to spend your Thanksgiving over there.

I had a blast, especially the shopping, but as I’m about to prove to you, it doesn’t really matter where you PHYSICALLY are… because this holiday weekend is now all about shopping ONLINE! Americans reportedly spent a record SEVEN-POINT-FOUR BILLION dollars ONLINE on Black Friday. Plus four-point-two billion on Thanksgiving Day! Some of that is being chalked up to the fact that it’s such a late Thanksgiving this year, so the holiday shopping season is compressed. And if that was true of the weekend, it should be extra-true of Cyber Monday: online sales for the day are projected to reach NINE-POINT-FOUR BILLION.

Meanwhile, it’s not such a happy holiday season at Daimler. The owner of Mercedes-Benz has announced that it’ll be cutting jobs, quote, “in the five figures.” As in, at LEAST ten thousand, out of a workforce of around three hundred thousand. The one silver lining is it’s for a good cause: the German company needs the money to develop its electric vehicles, which also have fewer parts and therefore need fewer workers to assemble. So let’s call it short-term pain for long-term gain!

And if you use your phone while driving, you better listen up, mobile phone detection cameras are now a thing. They just debut in Australia and use artificial intelligence to identify possible illegal phone use and record it for posterity. The pics will then be reviewed by authorities, and after a three-month grace period, offending drivers will be facing major fines and serious demerits! It’s only a matter of time before those cameras make their way around the world. Stay tuned for more Naked News.

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